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Coming Out with the GAY to Z

  Coming Out - dealing with homophobic bullying    


Stonewall launches new 'coming out' guidance for young people
Stonewall launches new 'coming out' guidance for young people
This guide is designed to provide answers to some of the most common questions that young people might have if they are thinking about coming out or think they might be lesbian, gay or bisexual
Download guide 9 Oct 14

So you think your child is gay? Stonewall guide to parents.

So you think your child is gay? - Stonewall's new guide answers parents' common questions. Written in plain English, it dispels the common myths about what being gay means for young people 8 Feb 13


LLGS email instant messaging

London Lesbian and
Gay Switchboard
adds email and instant messaging for the first time - Tel 0300 330 0630 16 Mar 12

Gay Switchboard London Lesbian helpline suicide
Helpline with Flat Share Service

Respect Yourself

NHS phone app featuring sex tips young people and advice on coming out

- am I gay, lesbian or bisexual?

- Coming Out Guide

LGBT Youth Clubs
- around the UK

- a youth club in London

PFLAG - local support for Parents, Friends (and Family) of Lesbians and Gays

Albert Kennedy Trust
- for young people with housing problems

Families Together London - support group for parents

Coming Out
- all your questions answered in this guide from AVERT

- support for young people unsure of their gender

Rank Outsiders
- for lesbian and gay people in the armed forces

Gay Pride
- carnivals and festivals


Trevor Project gay lesbian teen suicide USA helpline

The Trevor Project
- works tirelessly to stop this epidemic of US teen suicides

it gets better gay teenage suicide project

"It Gets Better"
- YouTube project takes the message to teens that LGBT life improves

PFLAG - support for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays

Expert Q&A
Bullying of gay and lesbian teens

- counseling, education for gay youth around USA


- Irish charity working to empower young people
- Irish organisation for LGBT young people, aged between 14 and 23.


guide for family and friends FFLAG

How do I tell my parents - FFLAG Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gay Men has updated its support booklets for young people coming out:

A guide for family and friends

How do I tell my parents




You can use the GAY to Z Directory to find advice, support, and many other services which will help you come out. If you'd like to talk to someone, try London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard on 0300 330 0630. You're sure to find a friendly and supportive person to speak to.

However, they are extremely busy and it may be difficult to get through. Search through the GAY to Z Directory to find other local 'Switchboards' and 'Friend' groups around the country. There are 100s of links and suggestions.

Why not search for:

You can also search by TOWN / REGION using the 'Who, What, Where' search at the top of the page.

Many of these groups also run social clubs especially for young people coming out. You can meet other people of the same age group who are also coming out. It's great to share the experience and most of us keep many of the friends we make when we first venture into the gay scene.

Want more ideas?

Buy a copy of GT (Gay Times), DIVA (for women), or ATTITUDE magazines which are available in newsagents around the UK. In London TIME OUT and the Evening Standard both have listings of gay events and activities.

If you're in London, head for Old Compton Street in Soho where you'll find many gay pubs, shops and cafes, and where you can pick up free copies of the weekly gay newspapers BOYZ, and QX Magazine.

In Manchester head for the shops and pubs in Canal Street behind the bus station. BENT and CITY LIFE magazines have gay listings.

In Birmingham head for the bars and shops in Hurst Street in the City Centre. Pick up ZONE magazine

In Scotland look out for ScotsGay magazine.

Around the world

You can use the GAY to Z to search for your country. There is international legal information at ILGA.

Online there are many supportive places to find, including the 'It gets better' project which features videos of hundreds of ordinary lesbian and gay people from all walks of life. If you're looking for young, or old, people in the same situation as yourself, you'll hear their stories of how they came out.

Where do you fit in?

Whether you are unsure of your sexuality, or your gender, or if you just want to find other people in the same boat as you, you can use the GAY to Z Directory to find someone to talk to:

Advanced search


Shaun Dellenty, School leader and founder of 'Proud2be':


Google employees show you It Gets Better:




Do I Sound Gay?
"For many gay men, the last vestige of internalized homophobia is this hatred of how they sound"

Dan Savage talked to David Thorpe, who's new film Do I Sound Gay? premiered at this month's Toronto International Film Festival. It appears 'Gay Voice' is ruining lives 22 Sep 14

View Trailer

Mark McAdam comes out
Sky Sports News
presenter comes out

Mark McAdam has come out in an interview with Gay Times saying he has "battled" with his sexuality for years, revealing that he was bullied and physically attacked at school. "Only gay people will ever understand the trauma you go through about accepting your sexuality," he said. "I don't know of any other gay sports reporters." 4 Sep 14

Gareth Thomas

Rugby international Gareth Thomas struggled to come to terms with his sexuality, but it can be just as difficult for everyone else: 'You could say I am making a career out of being gay' 3 Sep 14

Andrew ScottBeing gay doesn't harm your acting career
star Andrew Scott: 'The most important thing is to be who you are. I don't like to talk about it too much because, frankly, I don't have much more to say about it' 3 Sep 14

'I was known as Gay Boy
As a kid, bullying makes you weary': Gareth Malone on being bullied 15 Dec 13

Apple approves 'only gay social app for ages 12 and up'
The founders of believe it's time for a gay social app that doesn't have sex at its core. This is an app that "you can bring home to Mom" 15 Dec 13

Tom Daley reveals he is in a gay relationship
"In spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone, and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great ... That someone is a guy." 2 Dec 13


Lord Browne

Lord Browne - Former BP chief said that he hadn't felt comfortable with speaking about being gay for years, but that he felt better about being open now subscription 21 Apr 13


Sheffield Schools gay abuse

Sheffield schools - praised for tackling gay abuse 24 Mar 13

Duncan James

Blue's Duncan James - 'I was so frightened about my bisexuality being exposed I had to leave the country' 23 Mar 13

Prince Harry would go gay

Prince Harry - I'll consider going gay if it doesn't work out with Cressida 17 Mar 13

Da's coming out letter to gay son FKH8

Dad's letter to son - Dad overhears nervous gay teenage son talking about his coming out plan ... Writes his son best note ever 17 Mar 13

Facebook page bolsters the confidence of gay teens after Indiana teacher says gays 'have no purpose in life' | "You Have a Purpose" fb page 17 Feb 13


Overcoming Adversities as a Gay Teen - documentary tells the story of ten gay males, ages ranging from 15-82. We find out how each of them overcame their adversities as a gay teen throughout each generation 15 Feb 13

Coming Out and Fitting In study aims to explore the university experiences of LGBTQ students
Take part on Twitter at @thecofiproject 12 Feb 13

Paul J Burgess tells the story of his father's incredible transition from a man unable to accept his gay son, to a man fully accepting and embracing of not only his sexuality, but the powerful work of the Pink Triangle Theatre tackling homophobia | 8 Feb 13

Bullying study suggests it subsides as gay, lesbian, bisexual teens get older 5 Feb 13

Jadin Bell

Jadin Bell - who hanged himself two weeks ago after complaining of bullying, died early Sunday afternoon in an Oregon children's hospital 4 Feb 13

I am gay cake

'Good morning parents,
I'm gay' -
How teenage girl came out to mom and dad with a homemade cake and letter full of witty baking puns 30 Jan 13

Coming out has health benefits, finds new neuroscience study 29 Jan 13

New Jersey teen announces he's gay in front of high school assembly 25 Jan 13

43% of 'coming out' calls at the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard are from people aged 35-late 60s | 19 Jan 13

Homophobia in Hollywood: Why gay movie stars still can't come out of the closet 19 Jan 13

Boy Scout Camp Leader comes out and condemns organization's policies 19 Jan 13

Victor Garber

Victor Garber - Argo star lives in New York with his companion of 13 years, Rainer Andreesen - I don't really talk about it but everybody knows 15 Jan 13

Jodie Foster comes out

Jodie Foster 'comes out' - in opaque Golden Globes speech - transcript

Morgan Westcott

Morgan Westcott - Only Boys Aloud star 'was bullied online' - I've always had people calling me gay because I sing 10 Jan 13

Matt Damon on gay rumors: I never denied them because I was offended 15 Dec 12

Thomas "Bozzy" Bosworth, I'm 18 and from Wales. My story is about being gay but masculine


Megan Hall

Megan Hall - Battered for being gay: Brave teenager helps put her attacker in jail 7 Dec 12

Get involved in Anti-Bullying Week at school - 19-23 Nov 19 Nov 12


Ian McKellen and young people talk about the effects of homophobic bullying in this video for Anti-Bullying Week 2012. Find out how you can help tackle this serious problem at 16 Nov 12

Gay executives running Britain's leading companies should come out to provide "visible senior role-models" 13 Nov 12

I should have come out sooner, says Irish parliament TD Jerry Buttimer 12 Nov 12

I finally understand gay conversion therapy! - It's a form of abuse that parents .. inflict on their children | BBC iPlayer 2 Nov 12

Facebook accidentally "Outs" gay kids to their parents 17 Oct 12

Matthew Kimball

Matthew Kimball - is one of many gay scouts coming out, to rally around teen's Eagle Scout bid 10 Oct 12

I hope our kids don't turn out gay. It's a constant fight even in today's society 8 Oct 12

Lesbian & Gay Foundation will be providing 24 hour support for those who are questioning, thinking of coming out - Thu 11 Oct
US National Coming Out Day | UK

'Coming Out' as a Boy Scout has a price 7 Oct 12

Mother of gay Boy Scout to appear on Ellen 7 Oct 12

Proud Mum National Cming Out day

Helping a child to Come Out - Thu 11 Oct is National Coming-Out Day 7 Oct 12

orlando Cruz gay boxer

Orlando Cruz's homosexuality is no big deal for the rough, tough world of boxing - his sexual orientation is irrelevant 6 Oct 12

Ben Cohen - Rugby star creates 2013 Calendar to support his anti-bullying foundation 14 Sep 12

Arnold Schwarzenegger: 'Dad belted me for being gay' 2 Oct 12

Twirl comes out at 6

Twirl - My son is in love with another boy - mum writes a blog about her 6 year old
designisgood 27 Sep 12

Youth Chances surveyed 2,840 people around UK:

- 74% experienced name calling / verbal abuse
- 47% experienced threats / intimidation
- 47% experienced harassment
- 25% experienced physical assault because they are LGBTQ or people think they are LGBT.

- 53% have hurt themselves on purpose
- 67% of female LGBQ respondents have hurt themselves on purpose, compared to 36% of male LGBQ respondents
- 75% of transgender respondents have hurt themselves on purpose, with a staggering 27% still actively self-harming.
Survey results | Take part in survey 18 Sep 12

Diversity Role Models

Diversity Role Models tackles homophobic bullying by giving workshops to young people in schools 10 Nov 11


It gets better - LGBT Equality Caucus lesbian and gay members of US Congress send a message of hope that it will get better
youtube 9 Nov 11


It Gets Better Google Chrome UK TC commercial ad with Stonewall

Google and Stonewall bring 'It gets better' phenomenon to UK TV. New Google Chrome TV ad to raise awareness in the UK of the urgent need to tackle homophobic bullying and to inspire young people
YouTube | 4 Jun 11





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